beware: long post

for the past hour i tried to take an afternoon nap, but failed quite miserably. now this is quite rare by my standards, and especially after a sleep-inducing session at pl4202, this shouldn't be happening at all. this is caused partly by the stupid bird that was chirping at the top of it's lungs outside the window. but even more i guess, by the constant rumination of certain issues in my head that i feel i need to let out. so hopefully good ol' blogging can allow me some sleep after i let things off my system. looks like a long post ahead...

firstly, something interesting was raised by prof elliot in history and systems of psychology seminar today. for once in a long time i was actually thinking hard about something. in case u think it's an interesting class, no it's not. it's boring like mad. thong can sleep under the nose of the prof throughout the lesson and no one will notice. half the time basically consists of the ongoing dialogue between prof elliot and a certain guy in class (by this i mean just the two of them) and the rest of the class either sleep or pretend to understand. but once in awhile interesting topics like today's will be fed to the class, and at least it's interesting as compared to anything else possible to happen in that class.

here goes...Is it possible for a machine to be conscious?

some of the points i gathered from class merged with what i think:

1) firstly, what is consciousness anyway?
a check with the dictionary for an official definition.. aware of one's own existence, sensations, thoughts, surroundings, etc. at least this is the main definition and it encompasses most others. by this definition we can rule out machines as being conscious. they are not alive and hence do not have the senses and perceptions to observe themselves and their surroundings.

2) they are pre-programmed by humans to behave and "think" in a certain rule-governed manner. hence they cannot make decisions by themselves or adapt to new environments by their own virtue.

3) however, problem runs in when we go by this assumption that human beings, and all animals, for that matter, have consciousness because we are all aware of where we are, what we are doing, what we are thinking, smelling, seeing etc. because if u think about it, are we even making the decisions for ourselves? we are all biologically determined by the laws of nature. pre-programmed to think/sense/behave in certain ways. even if u bring in the environmental element in the usual nature/nurture debate which brings in the versatility and uniqueness among individuals, who's to say we are not genetically pre-determined to think/sense/behave in response to a specific combination of environmental factors which are unique to our experiences? another way of putting it is that if person A and person B of identical genetic makeup (predetermined) are put thru exactly the same environmental experiences from day1, they may end up behaving/thinking in exactly the same way. but we'll never know because this scenario will never happen. but it's still a possibility. now this is unnerving. because it's beginning to sound like machines isn't it? the argument here is that if humans do not actually have consciousness that we think we do, who's to say machines do not have consciousness anyway? the definition of consciousness is set by humans in any case.

4) going by the same argument, humans/animals have neuronic network in our brains (which is the essential organ giving rise to consciousness, if any) which is in fact, rule-governed as well. the way in which our neurons fire in response to certain stimuli, whether they do fire or not (yes/no system) are all out of our conscious control, but in fact, within the control of our very genetically predetermined brain (much likened to a machine isn't it?). whoever created the brain has made it in such a way that it is pre-programmed to do certain things under certain circumstances. but obviously, in a much more complex manner than any machines possible. but still pre-programmed.

5) humans/animals have (or maybe not) consciousness but plants (also living things) do not. the only difference is that plants do not have sensory mechanisms to allow them to be aware of the surroundings and of themselves. but again, even our sensory mechanisms are pretty much biologically determined. and who's to say plants do not have consciousness?? they may be pretty aware of a worm crawling up their stem, for all we know.

6) we'll never know if machines have consciousness anyway. how are we going to test that out empirically? they may have consciousness in another form different from the way we experience our consciousness. possible?

alright, interesting debate. tho' the debate seems to be going on within myself only. i seem to be derogating the human race and likening us to machine-like beings, which is so unnerving to think. i'd love to think of us as much more complex creatures with a whole extent of free will and self control. to a certain extent we do, i believe, for each of us is so unique. but fundamentally, i'm also inclined to think that at the very basic level of our functioning, we are pretty much predetermined by the laws of nature. haha wateva for now... think prob only psych students will be interested in such topics.. but this is pretty much why i love psych, cos it's really all bout wat humans are..(hate it too, cos nothing can be answered definitely).

next up, the big issue of jobs.

the problem of jobs after graduation nv really crossed my mind till several of my friends kept asking if i'd started looking for jobs and going for interviews. ALL of them said the same thing: "you'd better start looking for a job u know.. everyone's looking already! the interviews will take a few months." or "you should really start building up your contacts from now.." and they have already started sending out applications, going for interviews, career talks and wat nots.

gosh, this issue is suddenly slapping me in the face. i've not been to a single career talk. i've not been actively searching for the field/industry of my interest. i do not have a single contact. my resume is half done. i'm starting to panic.

i was pretty sure i can start looking for jobs after i graduate.. din alot of my friends do that? afterall i dun wanna start working straight after graduation..prob july or august. but i guess i should really start doing something.. something, anything. ok thurs career fair.. career fair..

and the big issue behind all this is also due to my not knowing wat i really want to do. everyone's telling me how they're definitely going for bank jobs, big industries, management, etc. when they ask me wat i intend to pursue and i say "community-related or govt" the immediate response i often get is.."huh..cannot earn much one leh.. pay rise very little also". that much i agree. but i've always been strong in my conviction that this is the field i wanna go into. at least for the interest and sense of fulfillment. i just feel that if i were to find any kind of job, it's primarily gotta be something that gives me fulfillment and that i'm doing something for a good purpose at least. i dun really wanna go to some bigshot company or bank and earn money for a big fark whom i probably won't ever see anyway.

i dunno.. but i just feel that everyone's getting so materialistic, pursuing industries for the money and glam. alright i may have been too quick to jump to this conclusion. if they happen to have interest in those industries then i have nothing against it. but so far the feeling i get from at least the limited network of my friends and acquaintances is that they're going for the money, and because those industries are wat everyone goes for these days. i'm not sure. i admit i'm getting swayed by the money factor. money is afterall an important motivation.. and wat with my several loans to pay off, and wanting to contribute to my family as well, especially my parents. i once asked someone why he went for a higher paying job rather than social work which he intended, and his reply was that his family comes before society. i so agree with that.. but i can't imagine myself doing something that i do not enjoy, just for the sake of money. i won't be doing justice to myself.

i do know that even though my heart wants to go into the community sector, i cannot guarantee that in the end it's going to be enjoyable or fulfilling for me. i gotta experience it out first before i'll even know.. so i'm not saying that my decision's all right. i just need some time to explore and all.. i guess. if it doesn't work out in the end then it's really too bad. and i'm not saying that going into big businesses and industries' all bad either. i can't say for sure that i wouldn't find a private sector that interests me and gives me a sense of satisfaction.. i believe both types are still open to me. it's more a matter of whether the job is suitable for me, gives me some sense of satisfaction and challenges i suppose...

now i'm really stuck in a rut. how do i start looking for jobs when i'm not even convinced what kinda jobs i'm looking for? even if i've decided to go into community, it's a very broad field as well. and it really depends on the openings available to me. apparently many of them are so looking for second upper hons. which really brings me back to the problem of my cap. oh darn...