the feeling i'm feeling

right now, i just can't help but feel that my spirits have been dampened by half.
all the excitement and hoohah seems to have been for nothing.
i dun wanna feel this way too. dun intend to be mean.
i dun even have zest anymore. in things i was just feeling all excited about.
i try to stop myself from feeling this way,
keep telling myself that things will be alright, that's it's just a trivial matter.
but it still comes at me... and i'm only saying how i feel, just as it is.
am i wrong to be this way?
i dunno what's right or wrong anymore.
i am just the way i am.

sighhh. what dilemma. what complexities.
what do i even want?
the inconvenience of being a perfectionist.
i wanna cry out.
but it seems such a trivial matter, for me to be even ruminating over.
for afterall, ain't i fortunate enough?
can't seem to talk to anyone about it. no, not even you.
for i am really just trying my best, to please everyone, again.
but who would understand?
i think love can perhaps make me do anything afterall.

hmm.. i feel slightly better already.
oh, the wonders of catharsis.
please ignore me, i think it's just a short lil phase i'll need to go thru for now.
i'll be alright in awhile.

and to make myself feel better, i'm gonna get some dose of desperate housewives, and i think munching on some food may help as it always does.