i got a promotion last week.

but really it's no news to me. it just means i got my feet deeper into it.

i'm still underpaid, horribly. and overworked.

there's alot of talk about moving off to practise private psychology, setting up psych centres and so forth. places where finally, we get a focused scope of work (and be truly psychologists and just psychologists), we can practise what we want to practise i.e. assessments, interventions, therapy (think no systems work, admin, policies etc), help children more directly although on a smaller scale, shorter working hours, goodbye to horrible bosses.

i think many of us are very excited with the idea. i'm just waiting. but for the next few yrs at least, i'm staying put.

right now i'm shagged out after 10 hours straight of training and then meetings, the last one stretched for 4 hours and i swear i'm braindead. had a training this morning by some external consultant on programme evaluation (which i've to carry out for one of my big big projects assigned by the minister of state) and i swear i dunno wat's going on.

i now have 6 different team leaders and supervisors to report to on various projects and researches and 9 schools (and one reporting officer who doesn't work with me on anything but has to appraise me). last week i mentioned something about getting a new project but not knowing the details yet. congratulations, i was made the secretary, who basically has to do everything a normal member does, PLUS take minutes, act as deputy leader, look into all minute details, book all meeting venues blah blah blah.

i'm kidding if i say i'm coping well. actually i realised that many of my colleagues, even the senior ones, have admitted to their reporting officers that they are not managing at all. everyone's struggling here. but we can only go through each day, struggling, and end of the day still gotta get the work done. i dun blame them for wanting to leave. i dun blame myself for wanting to leave too. 20+ pple covering the work of 50 post allocation and looking after every single primary school and planning all the projects nationwide, i think it's crazinessss.

okok... i know i've been complaining big time about work.. and it's kinda weird cos i seemed to love my job so much... i guess working in hq has been much like trekking thru the forest.. things looked so green at the beginning and u see its true colours only when u've trekked deep enough to uncover the monsters within... and it took me about ten months to reach that point.

will elaborate more on that later... i need to watch tv to de-stress now.