irreparable damages

as midnight loomed over me like a dark blanket and finally came and went, what was it that i felt? a huge, deep sense of loss, despair, helplessness, but perhaps also, a little wave of relief and closure.

finally i won't worry about the prices and fluctuations anymore, i won't have to be the ONE who worry about such things, glue my eyes to the screen to monitor a few times a day and be the only one who cares or plans at all.

so now that it has passed, i can let the whole idea off my shoulder, and let it go to rest.

i have come to believe in irreparable damages. and i know, this will become another scar to add to history, another event that caused huge despair, at least to me. one which i'd want to forget but perhaps can never will.

but at least, i know i can't do anything about it anymore. and it's ok. it's better than going without peace and possibly regretting.

i'll save those days for better times then.

sad beyond words. indescribable misery and despair. silent screams.

if only anyone could understand, anyone at all.