special children

i've been trying, for the life of me, to upload pics from thong's bday but there are so many problems with blogger. if i ever upload more than 2 pics at one go, there'll be some error and my draft won't be saved and i won't be able to log into blogger for a few hours. weird problem. it's been like this for months! so many times i've actually typed an entire post/uploaded a load of pics only to hit the publish button, and have the entire thing disappear. (the post on food galore was done up over a few days with the help of two computers).

gosh. anyone has this problem?? perhaps my photo sizes are too big? i'm not sure. but sometimes when i write posts without pics i have the same problem too (but the main problem is still uploading photos). gosh i just hate losing whatever i posted just like that.

anyway the other day when i was on one of those long train rides, i noticed a little girl sitting right opposite me looking at me. it struck me how pretty she looks at her age.. perhaps 8 or 9.. and there's just something in her beautiful eyes that spoke to me. anyway she was smiling dreamily so i smiled at her. there's something different about her, i felt, but couldn't point a finger to it. it was only a little later that i noticed that she's wearing the minds uniform.

i dunno why but my heart broke a little when i realised she's another child with special needs. she looks so angelic, it'll be hard to believe she's having problems. and what truly disturbed me was that she was with her nanny and the nanny's little daughter (presumably), but both of them are playing and ignoring the little girl. it was so evident that the little girl is trying to catch their attention.. either trying to join in their play or smiling at them, but they were not interested at all. and when they finally got down the train, the little girl had to carry the nanny's daughter's schoolbag, on top of her own.

during the train ride the little girl was looking at other pple.. trying to smile at them.. but those strangers would not smile at her and gave her odd looks.. perhaps cos she's from minds or perhaps cos they just felt she's weird. but it's mean isn't it? does it hurt to smile at someone? she have her feelings too, gosh. and i'm sure she appreciates a kind smile too.

i dunno but meeting her that day just reminds me so much bout children with special needs. and it reminds me especially of ethan. and when i told thong bout it i cried again. when can children like these walk out of stereotypical shadows? and it hurts to know that we dunno what's going on in their internal world.. what exactly are they thinking, perceiving? it hurts to know that little kids who are so young and innocent, can't live life like we do, can't experience things that we take for granted. it hurts to know that children like ethan, who looks just like any other child, who's healthy and adorable, is actually suffering from a disorder. it hurts more to know that many pple are not accepting them, even if they say they're not prejudiced. and wat can we do to help them? i'm not exactly sure. but i think a first step is to give these children love, and acceptance. that's the very least we can do, if we can't do anything else.

thong consoled me by saying that perhaps these kids are also happy in a way that's different from us, that we're using our standards of happiness to judge whether they are happy or not, or normal or not. it makes sense to me. and i certainly hope that it's true (that they are indeed happy), though we may have no way of knowing. one thing i do know is that, these kids are subjected to stereotypes, and that they can't be too happy when there are pple around who point fingers at them. and it's the whole point of studies like psychology isn't it? all these endeavours to understand human dynamics, remove stereotypes and prejudice, and improve societal wellbeing.

so here's my appeal to u. if u see children or any individuals who are disadvantaged in a certain way, dun hesitate to give a smile, lend a hand or wateva. or if u can't do that, at the very least, don't do anything. dun stare, dun point. if u have a loved one with such a disorder, u'll know how much it hurts.