on job interviews

so one day some weeks ago i went for an interview, for the post of a probati*n officer. not exactly wat i'm looking for, but it sounded really challenging and no harm just trying out.

and the interview was one rather out-of-the-world experience, def not quite wat i would imagine at least, or in any way like those i'd gone to (which i'd mostly enjoyed). quite funny in a way.. the things that popped out. haha. was interviewed by one big dynamic personality. the chief officer.

anyway so certain things popped out that kinda caught me off-guard.... stuff like (in her exact words), are u attached? what does ur bf think of ur applying for this job? are u sure he supports u? what's a young, nice, pretty (she said it, not me) fresh grad like u doing here? we dun even hire fresh grads right away for this position. (hmmm yeaa ok, so why did the website put 0yrs experience needed..) and she continued.. you'd be eaten up alive (made the gulping expression) here, working with offenders. forget bout applying to prisons, if you're gonna be eaten up alive here, u're gonna be worse off there with the hard-cores.

and then, so you can start work by 1st May i assume (i stated in my application july, but think she hasn't read..)? when i told her my exams end on the 4th and i'm going travelling, can only start in june, july blah blah... her reaction was BIG. alright, i thought i can just try out fresh grad applicants, but ended up all of u came here telling me how u want ur holidays blah blah... ok fine, u go for ur holiday, go for ur exams, when u're back then u give me a call. but that's if u pass the case study test. (errr alright so on top of all these harsh things she's saying now i suddenly realised there's a test, which wasn't mentioned to me in the phone call the previous day).

and so i went for the test. 3 essays on a case study. was feeling rather put down by then... because watever she was saying to me in that 15mins of interview, she wasn't exactly asking me, but more like stating them factually, as if she knew me inside out. hmm, ok to some extent i know i'm too pleasant and soft-spoken to handle offenders, but afterall she doesn't know the other side of me and she was judging me w/o me having even said much, w/o so much as a few yelps from me. within 10 mins i was already brushed off by her, hearing stuff bout how i'm not suited for the job. thus she seemed to be judging from my appearance solely, something which i dislike. if u wanna think i'm a bimbo, seriously wateva, cos u dunno the real me. anyway there wasn't much for me to do in an interview other than being polite, frank and sincere in wateva i say. no room for assertiveness here because she has already clearly stated everything.

anyway back to the test. 3 essays. essays ain't a problem. so i wrote 2 hrs worth of stuff, deciding that what i couldn't prove in the interview, i'd write them down.

oh well. it's really not so much bout the job, cos it's not exactly what i'm looking for. it's more of, disliking how pple judge by appearance and such a short time span, esp in this setting.. but i admit it did set me thinking bout stuff. i do agree to a certain extent that i may not be able to handle offenders. it's a tough job afterall and seriously, how many pple are? i know i'm not that tough a person.. but there are indeed times i am.. times i have another side of me. anyway not sure why i'm pondering so much since i wanna work more with children, not so much with offenders anyway... haha..just a thought that this interview set me thinking i guess...

oooh back to this application. bout one week after that i received a call from one of the officers there, telling me that my interviewer conveyed the message that i should give her a call when i finish my exams and stuff.

and bout one week after that i received another call from another officer telling me that my interviewer offers me a casual basis 6mth job, whereby i could get converted (into not sure what, din manage to ask too much).

which brings me to the current problem. should i or should i not?? i'm so confused. arghhh. i'm not so sure i wanna do probati*n stuff (nv been sure all along), but yet it seems like a challenging and fulfilling job, something in tune with what i'm seeking. one main issue is that it is a casual basis job.. not even a contract. no benefits, no promises (and i'd seen the plight of poor casual workers when i was an intern there). i could see nothing at the end of it if i dun perform. and i'd much rather look for a more permanent job since i've applied to other places as well...

anyway i'm going for BAT's first round on thurs. reasoning test, bring calculator. arghh the sound of it scares me. i'll just try my best anyway. go for each interview as if u want the job badly, they say. haha.

hmm i'm supposed to give an answer by tmr. i wanna consider other jobs at the same time. talk about a big DILEMMA.