tearing apart

in the office now but i need a 5 min quick vent.

i can't take it anymore. i feel like i'm failing miserably in terms of balancing my life and keeping things together.

why is it just so hard to prioritise and make everyone in my life feel happy? when i try to make time for this person, others will complain and when i make time for others, another person will get upset.

i only have 7 days a week and most of it is taken up by work. the rest of it is split amongst various pple in my life. work, ot, family, friends, him, gatherings, gatherings. when i can't attend just one gathering i get so frowned upon. there are still so many pple asking me to catch up with them and all which i haven't done so in awhile.

i don't even have a single moment for myself. i can't rem the last time i ever spent 5 mins reading a book or even watched a tv programme!! i haven't a moment to rest and my health is deteriorating so much. my body feels so tired because i can't slow down for even one day. the fainting episode scared me but even after that, i haven't had a chance to rest at all.

i'm trying very hard. really trying very hard to make time for every single person. but no one will ever be happy with me. wat i really wanna do now is to stop seeing everybody and just spend time alone at home doing everything i ever want to. just live for myself.

in this 5 minutes i'm really at the brink of craziness.
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just had a chit chat with mich, one of my fav colleagues and i feel much better. sigh. back to work!