i'm not sure whether it's the fear of the past. but it just triggered me to feel the same way again. and i hate the feeling and i never want to put myself through it again.

i just think it's so easy for us to revert to our old selves. that's our comfort zone and it's just so, comfortable. never trust someone who claims to change. including myself. it's so tough sometimes. i've come full circle round and round and round a few times. i still haven't change. old habits die so hard.

sometimes i fear myself. when can i see sense?

i think, with hope comes disappointment. lots of it. i think i'm resigned.

i've been working on my lj blog the whole night, to add more pics, put up a feedback post, beautify the fonts and alignment. it's tough for me but i'm determined to make it work. simply because i want to sell my clothes, and because i think nothing can be too hard.

or simply because, this is one of the few things in my life which i can perhaps reign some sort of control over at this point. if i can't even do this, what else can i do?