last friday we brought ethan to marina bay sands, cos he loves being by the river. he was so cute and happy that day.. smiling at us, shaking our hands and laughing at xmas lights.

i think i seldom get to spend time with ethan and my big aunt.. so i truly cherish that rare day out with them.

sometimes it's heartbreaking to see my aunt growing old, and being kept so tired by the kids..

if there's anyone else i love other than my parents, it would be my aunt. she raised me up when i was young, and was a mother in my eyes. i could remember her feeding me porridge by the spoonful, and i wasn't an easy baby to feed at all! i would puke all the veg out, and i would take like 1 or 2 hrs to finish up my food.

my aunt didn't have an easy life.. i rem she lived frugally to raise up her 3 kids, my cousins. there's a particular memory i have of my aunt, which pains me very much. i was very young then, probably 4.. i was staying with her in malaysia. she had been looking around to take care of babies for some time, to earn some income. one day, she received a call from a neighbour, who was referring someone with a newborn and would like to look for a nanny. i remember that for that afternoon, she held my hand and we walked down several streets, terrace after terrace of houses, to look for that lady's house. we never found it. and we walked home, downcast.

at that very young age, i understood my aunt's frugality and pains. whenever the lorry with groceries and meat came round our house, i would ask my aunt's mother-in-law to pay for the meat, in teochew. i refused to let my aunt pay for anything.

then there were those times when she brought me to see the doctor, or the dentist, on the bus. and at night, together with her, i would prepare the bed for my little cousin. I had to lay pieces of plastic sheets all over his mattress, as he still peed at night.

now that my aunt's children have all grown up, she has to take care of my cousin's kids. ethan has autism and it really isn't easy taking care of him at all... he can't speak at all and would hit himself when in pain. so my aunt's life hasn't been easy even at this age when she should be enjoying life..

feel so emo suddenly..

i spent a good sunday with mummy today too.. we went to look for curtain fabrics.

it was a good family+kai weekend.... =)