we're two persons, of worlds apart.

trying very hard, too hard maybe, to be together.

we've tried for 3 years, to change things, improve ourselves, learn from lessons, be a better partner. but we are who we are, sometimes there's just no right or wrong.

and i find it so hard, to love everything about you, and love everything and everybody in your life, cos there's just so many of them.

and if love means giving up my life, who i am, to fit myself into your life, and everything and everybody in your life, to be waiting all the time, then i would rather not.

and i would think that if love means all the above mentioned on my part, then maybe there's no love on your part for me.

maybe i'm still selfish, or maybe i still don't love enough. but i have given alot. and this is the most i can give, and i have tried too hard and long. too too much.

and lately i've been thinking, some things just cannot be forced. if it's not meant to be, i can't make it be.

if unhappiness, uncertainty and bitterness still cloud over us, is it time to let go after so long?

the feeling is bittersweet. but i do not want bittersweet, i want sweetness. i'm willing to give everything to make things better, but i'm already by far convinced that this is all on my part only. and so i do not want anymore.

lots of wishful thinking. really, on my part. wistful, hopeful, a silly little girl with tiny dreams. but now i'm almost ready to surrender, lacking that bit of courage as again.

what can i do?