my verse for now

in this period of uncertainty about job finds, this verse from the bible keeps popping into my head:

Ask, and it will be given you.
Seek, and ye shall find.
Knock, and it will be opened unto you.

this has always been one of my favourites, and has kept me going in many times of trouble and uncertainty.

to me, it connotes a sense of never to stop trying and persevering in my search and aim of achieving something. to actually do something bout it when i want something, and not just sit there and pray or hope for it.

to go searching. to ask. to really want it.

i dunno. i suddenly realise that in my job search, i still haven't actually done any asking, seeking or knocking.

how can i keep expecting to get a job when i haven't put in the effort (sufficiently, at least) to find it?

there are many limits of cos. esp being an arts grad, whenever i scroll thru those job websites, i can't find many that are relevant to myself. most are looking for IT, engin, biz. they run in the hundreds. i see virtually none that says "degree in arts. degree in psychology/social work." or any that relates to these fields. sparse. maybe 10. wait, or is there? i can't help feeling so disheartened, so lost in this money-grabbing world.

i've been trying to be open to other fields. fields that prob accept general degrees. maybe stuff like marketing, banking, management. but the more i search, the more i feel that, hell, i actually know nuts bout these industries. the terms are alien, the interest is not there. do i really want to work there? i wouldn't know of cos. but the beginning is always the most difficult. i may pull thru, but i wouldn't know it now.

and then i think, i must stop feeling this way. if the job world out there is so harsh on arts grads, all the more i should stand up and find a space for myself, all the more i should really go asking, seeking and knocking more often.

sigh. all these are so tough somehow. the uncertainty of everything.

for now, i'm really just trying to cultivate this asking, seeking, knocking mentality in me that has kept me going thru harsh times in the past.