all the good and the bad happened in one day.

wireless internet was down this morning (since last night) and i couldn't do much research to prepare for the interview. but thank goodness for a friend who actually sent me highly classified info related to the job i'm applying for, and they proved really useful to me. then, i was trying to search high and low for a psych textbook to help me recap on certain childhood disorders, and just couldn't find it anywhere. ok fine, this one's my fault for not making sure earlier that it's around.

then a surprise at 10am. received a bouquet of roses in my fav colour, from someone quite unexpected, and it kinda really cheered me up. other than the delivery uncle who was knocking so frantically that my door was gonna be banged down anytime, all's well and fine.

then at noon i tried to grab some lunch. wanted to have more time to prepare so i thought i shld probably just eat some bread. but guess wat, the peanut butter's gotta be emptied at this time. so had to waste more time cooking yucky instant noodles.

after that, i was so absorbed in reading up materials that i actually forgot the time. supposed to get on the bus at 2pm but somehow an internal clock told myself to get changed at 2pm. it's surprising i'm making this kind of mistake, considering how anal i am bout such things. anyway so i was in a frenzy and managed to dress up in 10mins sharp. decided to take a cab.. but halfway walking to the road, i realised i forgot to take the slip of paper on which i have written down the address of my interview.

ran upstairs in my heels, hair flying about, shirt came untuck. i was in a mess and ashamed of myself. but finally. managed to hail a cab by 2.30pm, the very nice taxi uncle assured me he'll get me there ten mins before my scheduled time, and he began chatting to me, asking me not to feel so nervous, telling me bout his family, asking me bout my interview.. and he said one thing which made my day: life is all about happiness. and this is exactly my philosophy in life. so, smiles. he was so sweet he even waited to see me get to the podium counter before he left.

okiee... then the interview. i saw this long list of applicants... and recognised bout ten of them from my psych cohort. some of them i know are so suited for the job, can talk really well, and have better degrees than mine. i really tried not to let that get to me, and i know that i did my best for the interview. wateva i said came from my heart, and that's the very least i could have done. at least the panel of 4 interviewers din scare me, and they were all smiles at the end. asked me if i can start work immediately if i was called up. hopefully these are good signs. so, no worries, whether i get the job or not. :)

then the next bad thing. was at the bus stop waiting for my bus. this mercedes pulled up, and the driver was waving and smiling frantically at me. i thought maybe it's a friend or something.. so i walked near to the car to get a better look. i couldn't recognise him, but he looked faintly like an ex boss. i asked him who he is, do i know him? and he kept laughing and asking me to get up the car.. blah blah.. mentioned something like he's somebody's friend. i was getting really irritated by then cos i couldn't recognise him, and couldn't decipher wat he was saying, and he just kept asking me to get up the car first. blardy hell. i think he was just trying to get me up his car. shitass irritated i was. brrrr. gave him annoyed look and quickly hopped on my bus when it came behind.

on the bus, no better. throughout the one hr ride home, this old uncle was sitting opposite me, directly facing me. and gawd he was just staring me up and down the entire trip. and other girls too. and his hand was so suspiciously close to his crotch. yuck. made me so regret wearing a skirt today. at times like this i really hate species of the opposite sex. arghhhh. dirty piece of shit.

in the evening, i took a good jog. nothing lifts my spirits and clears my mind like a good jog does. i love the fresh air, the adrenaline rush and the slow walk home, looking at nature and stuff. it all feels very healthy and fresh. just wat i need.

i'm having a very bad time of my life. sometimes i just wish pple understand, without me having to explain. u know, right now, i really just want to be focused on getting a job. this is so important to me, and now with the right opportunity round the corner, i dun wanna miss it. i know i'm not in tip-top condition both emotionally and mentally, and i know i could have done so much better without all the distractions i'm having now, but i'm really just trying and giving my best. so yea, few days of really shutting myself at home, spending quiet time thinking and preparing. i'm still thankful for pple who really care and believe in me. really appreciate that.

okiee.. next up, interview at 10.30am tmr. after that, my 3-day marathon's over :)