my wisdom tooth

yesterday i went to extract my wisdom tooth.

the experience was surreal. i started panicking the night before and was nervous right up till the minute i sat in the dentist's chair.

afterall, i've not extracted any tooth since a decade ago! and this is my virgin wisdom tooth extraction... heard all sorts of horror stories about it.

anyway the anaesthesia injections were so painful my tears dropped out. had like 3 jabs! 10 seconds each!! can still see the jab wounds on my gums n the roof of my mouth now. sobs.

the extraction itself took only 5 secs! could only feel the dentist twisting something slightly and there it came out..

gawd.. the whole experience was simply frightful and terrorizing! but i'm brave enough this time and i didn't cry or blackout (mainly cos i was in a lying position). considering i fainted and cried countless times during injections in the past.

anyway i told the dentist to keep my tooth for me (the 2 dentists there laughed at me).. was quite traumatized when i saw it. it looked so ugly!! so blackish.

the worst thing was... some of my flesh was stuck on it!! i couldn't believe it. i had to tug at the flesh to clean it off my tooth. yuck. it felt like pulling chicken meat off the bone. couldn't believe it's mine.

tada! here's the tooth! about 1.7cm in length. quite huge leh. it has 3 roots. u can still see some of my flesh stuck there (turned black already). okay.. think i'm quite sick..



i placed it under my pillow last night and the tooth fairy visited this morning.

i'm now on a semi liquid diet. eating things like soup, porridge, mashed potatoes. the wound hurts quite badly today. my cheek is swollen like a hamster. had a slight fever and throbbing headache. i dread going to work tmr with the pain.. :(

anw thanx to lovely family n friends i've gotten lotsa care and pampering.. lotsa concern from everyone. i feel like i'm a baby.. just a tooth extraction and everyone's so sweet to me. my mummy especially.. she went with me yesterday.. i brought ali along and she nagged at me. she made soup for me too and sayanged my cheek.

alrighty the painkiller's worn off and the pain's coming back now.. i'm gonna sleep it off again. i dread work tmr..

children galore

these 2 days of work have been especially children galore.

seen and interacted with so many cute small lil kids! today, i conducted a circle of friends with a group of p1 kids.... and they're awww so lovely.

it's the first time i tried out the circle of friends and it's pretty interesting. i was trying to help this boy (suspected autism) make friends, by picking 5 volunteers in his class to be his circle of friends.. so they are in charge of taking care of him, reminding him things and basically, be his friends! i think the idea is really great..

u shld see those little kids.. u'd melt! and the things they say.. haha.

i asked, so how can u make him smile more often? what can u guys do?

one of them said, tickle him! *tickle tickle*

give him calvin and hobbes!

and all the other silly little things they say... so cute la!!!

yesterday, we went to visit a special school. ethan's enrolled in that school in an autism class. we were touring the classes when i heard ethan's distinctive cries. i looked into the classroom and saw a little boy lying on the floor, screaming and crying and twisting.. the teacher was struggling to pull him up. he turned a little and i saw his side view... it's ethan. my heart broke.

i didn't know what to do/how to feel but as the principal who was guiding us and the rest of the group moved away, i had to follow too. i felt helpless. seeing my own nephew in there, struggling, yet i couldn't do anything to help him. i didn't tell anyone and just walked away.

i think this affected me alot. i thought of my poor auntie (his grandma), how she would be heartbroken to know this, how she's barely able to take care of ethan at home anymore.. how she's old, tired, jaded.

in my job, i sometimes feel so torn between children in mainstream schools and children in special schools... many of them need help, just in varying degrees. those in mainstream are abit luckier.. they usually are able to learn more.. my heart pains for children like ethan, who are probably unable to learn much for the rest of their lives, but of cos the philosophy is always to maximise their learning, to give them whatever little they can have. any bit counts.

selfishly i wish ethan can be like a mainstream kid.. to be able to have friends, play catching, learn knowledge, read stories, buy his own food, laugh with people. these are such simple things that each of us grew up with, but for severely autistic kids like ethan these are things which may never happen for a lifetime to come.

of food, friends, drinks, and a wisdom tooth

i've been made pretty happy by friends and food.

yesterday i had a really slurpy $3 bak chor mee (soup) with abalone (1 slice only) at thomson. it reminds me of my favourite bedok 85 bak chor mee! i really like the food along thomson leh.. and i bought durian strudel and my fav mini choc eclairs.. i finished all the eclairs already :(

and i misss the bedok 85 food... bak chor mee, chilli lala, chicken wings! haven't been there in awhile.

ooh and i'm now hooked on green tea ice-cream! the one at shokudo is pretty good.. on french crepe with red bean sauce.. i like green tea ice-cream so much that i bought a green tea ice-cream flavoured lip balm.

i also had my favourite whitley road big prawn noodles along thomson (opp novena square) with colleagues the other day... it's so slurpy leh.. and the best thing is u can ask for soup refill. hee hee.

been gg out for drinks the past few weekends and it really made me forget all troubles. love my friends.. esp my babes. they're so pretty, anyone interested?

when me and lis were going into wala, we kana checked ic!! can't believe it. the whole world thinks i'm 18 can. my mum's friend thought i'm in sec 1. piangz. and honestly i'm not flattered with the "i look young" shit... but lisi was so elated la (naturally, cos she's 25).

anw wala wasn't good tt night, what with baby g band playing, so we trotted to timbre instead.

then that night went to wolly's house rooftop.. the other moos din join us tt night.. i really like his rooftop, so nice n romantic. u can see fireworks from there (and the uob building leh), how cool is that? too bad the wrong guy brought me there la... sigh.. hahaha

pardon my badly taken pics using my hp.. i promise his rooftop looks nicer leh. anyone interested in my wolly-selamat friend (stripe green shirt) and his rooftop, i can provide matchmaking services :)

i'm gg for my first wisdom tooth extraction this sat morning. scared like hell. i had a nightmare the other night about my 6 front teeth falling off and dangling out of my mouth leh. it was so vivid.. scary can.

but i've a plan. i plan to eat all the nice food i can for these few days! and then spend saturday sleeping at home after the extraction, and going on a liquid diet.

sighh i'm scared my blood will splatter all over myself (like what my colleague experienced)... i'm gonna look for someone to chauffeur me there and home. lol anyone?

4 more days....

life as a psychologist

i've thought of becoming a psychologist when i was very young. at that time it was just castles in the air and i would never dream of being on the path to become one.

anyways, almost 8 months into the job, i'm finally getting a thorough picture of what life as a psychologist lies in store for me.

i know i'm always complaining about the stress and workload.. but trust me when i say i really love what i'm doing. nothing i've done has ever been so fulfilling and enriching. yup i'll still continue to bitch about the low pay and stress (who doesn't right?), but, work as a psychologist is simply getting exciting!

when pple ask me what i do in my work, i'll just summarize it in one sentence (which makes it sound boring).. cos our job entails such a wide spectrum that i can spend one whole day describing it, and yet i know no one's interested in my kind of job anyway (nowadays conversations with friends revolve only around sales, finances, nobody ever ask about.. what, special needs??).. in any case it doesn't bother me and i still believe it's the most interesting job ever, to me at least. :)

in a nutshell, what do i do?

1. Case consultation

- we make school visits, to meet school personnel (teachers, learning support coordinators, principals) to discuss cases of pupils with suspected learning disabilities i.e. special needs (e.g. adhd, autism, dyslexia, intellectual impairment). usually each visit they bring up several cases.
- we make a decision on whether the pupil require our attention. if yes, we open up a formal case.

2. Assessment and Diagnosis

- we then make further visits to conduct psychological assessments (e.g. IQ test, literacy test, visual motor integration, autism diagnostic schedule, theory of mind battery etc etc) to see what is wrong with the child.
- we gather more info on the child to complement the assessment results (class/recess observation, parents interview, teacher questionnaire)
- we provide a diagnosis for the child (e.g. ascertain adhd, autism, dyslexia etc)

3. Intervention and Referral

- we advise the school and parents on intervention strategies for that child, and/or refer the child to an external agency or a special school
- we type several feedback forms for each pupil (one form per visit) and a complete psychological report.
- we arrange for special exams arrangement (which requires psychological report from us to prove the pupil needs it)

4. Systems work and Policy planning

- we plan programmes, systems and policies (related to special needs) that will be implemented in all the schools on the island.
- there are several teams, each team zooming into each area of special needs
- i'm in the Dyslexia team.. meaning our team oversees all the dyslexia programmes, policies and initiatives in all schools. monitor the dyslexia situation in schools.. we also conduct largescale research studies to see how we can identify pupils with dyslexia earlier.
- this also means we must know everything about dyslexia, which unfortunately i'm not even halfway through.

5. Work with Special Schools

- we liaise with these schools as we sometimes refer intellectually impaired pupils from the mainstream to them
- we help these schools improve on certain programmes and processes, so that if they're succcessful they can be rolled out to other special schools.

6. Provide training

- we train schools (teachers, officers dealing with special needs children - yes now schools have them!) on special needs and learning difficulties - correct their misconceptions, teach them identification tools and intervention strategies.
- we train other educational bodies too, e.g. ITE, poly, singapore sports school
- conduct workshops on transition support - providing support for pupils with special needs who are moving to other levels/other schools
- conduct workshops and talks for principals and HODs
- sometimes we compile infopacks and brochures to be distributed

7. Internal professional development

- amongst ourselves as psychologists within our division, we share findings, share knowledge, teach tools, hold debates, train each other (different psychologists have different expertise area), discuss issues.
- for me as a newbie, i have to go through one year of training under experienced psychologists and senior specialists. we have "lessons" whereby we discuss issues, present our homework and research, clarify areas we dunno, talk intelligently.
- also as a newbie, i have to go through 2 years of supervision under an experienced psychologist, and shadow her to all school visits, observe, learn, apply, and eventually take on her role more independently. quite excited about this!

8. Attend trainings/workshops

- we attend trainings conducted by professionals, to be trained in the use of a psychological and diagnostic tool, or be trained in an area of knowledge
- we attend talks, workshops by psychologists or speakers from abroad

9. Organize divisional events

- workplan seminars, exhibitions, presentations, bazaars, community projects, we all have to do

10. Assessing quality service

- this part, is sadly under my charge for my branch (me and only me).. have to assess whether we have delivered quality service to our clients (schools and pupils) and how we have improved and such.. whether we have replied to queries from the public.. gotta generate termly reports.. sigh.

11. Rojak matters

- all these being said, there are still tons of other things that are part and parcel of our job or which we may be called upon to do..
- meetings: average of 5 informal/formal meetings per week
- admin: type notes of meeting, type reports, act as facilitator during workshops, do any research work, tabulate data, secretariat work such as arranging for meetings and logistics..


okiee.. i think i've pretty much summed up my work here as a psychologist. i think items 1 - 8 are the ones really relevant to psychological work, and the ones that i'm excited about. there's really so much to do, so challenging, but yet this is a field which is so exciting.. it's an area that i can see is really developing, the awareness is increasing.. there's just no 2 days which are the same for me. everyday is new, everyday something happens suddenly and u just have to react to it..

i just hope i can stay long in this field. i love it, but i just can't afford to do my masters. sigh. by the way, to become a psychologist, it takes 9 friggin' years.

4 years - basic degree with honours
2 years - working experience in a setting with children with special needs
3-4 years - Masters and PhD

then u become a full fledged Psychologist. i'm only in my 5th year. which is why i'm still an associate psychologist under training. sighh

something i really appreciate about my branch is that even though we are newcomers and all, the seniors really allow us to be like equals, letting us do the same things as they are doing (as far as we can), giving us quite an amount of freedom to exercise independence and own decision-making.. we are really doing the same work as the seniors, except of cos we consult them for advice.. basically, they make us feel like we're psychologists on par with them.

okiee.. i think i sound like an advertisement already. tmr is another long day.. gonna spend half the day in school by myself. a little excited cos i'm going to try out two tools that i've nv tried before. spent today learning n reading up on the tools, deciding whether they're suitable for use with this particular boy, one of me and my supervisor's cases. a tricky case. like so many other cases.