just went on a trip to jb and spent some quality time there, indulging on all my fav food and mostly, just letting my hair down and relaxing, not thinking about work. the trip this time just made me feel so at ease and well rested.

had so much food that i wonder how it's possible not to put on any weight (or visit the toilet). each time i go to jb is the only time i get to wipe out all my favourite stalls. stuffed myself silly with all-time favourite nando's (even packed a full chicken home), nice yong tau foo w black noodles, roasted chicken, duck, pork, lovely streetside bbq lok lok, n secret recipe's cakes. sang 3 hrs of ktv and was very sillyly happy hoarding the mic to myself (the boy had sore-throat) and self-entertaining.

stocked up on groceries and bought new yr goodies n stuff that could only be found in msia. only thing we didn't get to do is buy dvd!! can't wait to get my hands on season 2 of lie to me! it's a must-watch, pple. screening in US now. reminds me of emotions psychology totally. we didn't go jusco too, the usual stopover. but i need to stop shopping anyway. came home to 3 new dresses in the mail. i love life.

going to jb is abit like reliving my childhood since i grew up staying there for 6 yrs. got me a lil' nostalgic and started thinking of my childhood bestie, my cousins and auntie. those streetside stalls, supper and shophouses.

On the work front, it looks like this year is gonna be both a little intimidating and exciting year for me. My supervisor's pregnant, totally caught me offguard. and when she's preggy she goes on MC like forever. she already has one month hospitalization leave. so i can't go to her for help when i need advice and might have to cover her work. A few other major pieces of work coming my way too.. some could mean big things.. i'm just waiting for things to be firmed up..

So anyway, other than all the challenges i've often blogged about, perhaps the most exciting thing about this year is the possibility of going to US for a conference in october. i've been nominated by the management to attend it, quite a rare chance. it's not formally approved yet though, gotta wait for news. there's a chance i might have to present one of my papers there, though most likely it would be presented by bosses. actually i'm hoping just to attend the conference instead of presenting. but colleagues kept telling me that presenting my paper at an international conference is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, which some of the seniors don't even have the chance to. anyway, all these decisions are made for me so i'll just sit and wait for whatever news come my way. oh, the only downside is that i'm going with my bosses. sigh.

anyway, guess which part of US??

not exactly anywhere to die for, but at least it's Bella's hometown in Phoenix, Arizona! and i just caught a glimpse of it in New Moon recently. heh. apparently it's a nice sunny town (though Oct won't exactly be sunny) with the desert at the outskirts filled with cute lil' cartoony cactuses. most impt thing is that there must be factory outlets somewhere!!! though how i'm going to shop w my bosses with me, i've no idea yet.

ok i'd better not be happy too early. nothing's confirmed yet, remember?

hmm... been talking to ppl lately, just need the listening ear and maybe some good opinions and advice. had a nice long chat with a girl friend on thurs, and appreciated her so much. it's like her belated bday dinner and she spent 2 hours listening to my boring story! she's so sensible n i enjoy talking to her so much. it's a nice change from getting reprimanded or made to feel guilty whenever i talk to anyone about it. there's some decisions i need to make but i just dunno how to proceed. i just wanna go to sleep. sigh.

tell me what to do.

happy owner of my bow bri!

i just had a mini heart attack.

my long-awaited kate spade bow bri bag has just arrived at my door step!!!!! came faster than expected and i wasn't mentally ready for it....

tada!! looks prettier in real life! pardon the ugly background. was too excited and tried putting all my barangs inside to see how it looks like! it can fit my brolly, wallet, sweater and stuff. so happieeeee.

i'm like a super kate spade fan now.. :) and i'm so gonna get lisi's ribbon clutch! smooches

It's lovely Sunday and i'm so thankful for the chance to finally rest at home the whole day. The past two weeks have been a little hectic and i was so seldom home. Haven't been sleeping well either cos my bro has been smoking cigars at midnight for hours and the smoke smell is so overpowering and fills up my whole room that i find it really choking n hard to fall asleep.

It was Yuan's wedding yesterday. Me n lisi were her JMs and it was my first time! All the JMs were very nice and helpful.. haha quite fun. think lisi might not have enjoyed it much cos she kana alot of "feet" water from the brothers. lol. think the JM dress was nice afterall when everyone wears it together. can't wait for pics. So happy for yuan and i could really feel that she was very happy and at ease throughout the day. their love story is amazing! 15 years of love! gosh. i think it takes alot of love and commitment for the two of them to stay devoted for so many years and to be so sure of each other. :)

I must say that not many guys are ready to settle down n commit to a marriage at this age. They might think they are but they're not, and their actions prove it. Anw, thinking back to evolutionary psych, i was pondering at how men and women are designed to be at odds. It's amazing how marriages can last at all, but then again, nowadays they seldom do, and even if they do, there are so many cracks.

Women are programmed evolutionary to look in a man, traits which show they are ready to settle down and invest resources in her, and this ensures her and her offspring's survival. Resources can mean anything from money to food to perhaps most imptly, feelings and being faithful. We are programmed to subconsciously think this way so that we choose a man who would be unlikely to invest his resources in another woman (which in ancient times, can result in her perishment).

Men, on the other hand, are simply programmed to plant their seeds all over the place so as to ensure that their genes are passed on to their offsprings. Thus, men of all ages, are programmed to be attracted to women who are young, often in the twenties, which is the peak of fertility. They are also attracted to women with big hips, a key indicator of fertility. This is nature's way of ensuring survival and passing on of genes, at least for our ancestors. Even though some of these things are not applicable in modern age anymore (e.g. women do not need men's resources for survival all the time now), this was what worked for our ancestors and the psychological "programming" has been passed down to us.

Of cos, not all men are like what i described. There are definitely men who dun go around spreading their seeds and looking at young women, but these are the few and far betweens. There are definitely men who prioritise their marriages above all else. And single ladies, I'm afraid this species have all been taken up -- because these are the men who want to settle down in the first place, and they already have. So, look twice or thrice at any single male species who are past the age of 27. If they show the slightest inclination to settle down, it's because their buddies are doing that.

Sorry that the cynical me is acting up again. I've just been relating it back to my own experience, and now i know why i've to think so hard about everything. Maybe it's simply the evolutionary programming acting up, and it's nature's way of protecting myself from being harmed -- by thinking like thrice about everything and ensuring i make a good (and smart) choice.

And I think, amongst the things i hate most, i hate being taken for granted all the time when i've honestly always tried to be the nicest and most understanding that i could already. i also hate being unappreciated for who I am. i hate being told that i can be more tolerant and much better when i've been the best i could to u. i hate being prioritized at the end of the ranks. and I dun see why i have to live with it.

happy camper

Went for my regular manicure session with my mummy this evening. It's my mummy's virgin mani-pedi so we were pretty excited. Other than the initial 15 minute blackout in the shop the moment we entered, everything was good. She was so happy that finally all the dead skin on her feet are gone and now they're smooth n supple :)

She was pretty hesitant to try out any nail colours initially but with the persuasion from all the girls she tried out some light shades of pink. She was so scared to smudge her fingers after that so we had to help her with her things!

My manicure today is light shimmery pink french manicure. Love the colour but not very satisfied with this particular lady's job n miss my regular gal as she was off today. My nails were cut a tad too short n the french tip wasn't too straight. bah.

Anw i really love love love coming for mani-pedi sessions at this particular shop. Although it's a very small neighbourhood shop, the service and quality is ten times better than the big parlours i've been to. not to mention, much cheaper! I never fail to feel super pampered whenever i go for these sessions. Esp pedi!! Love how the feet are soaked and carefully scrubbed. And of cos the choosing of colours is always the biggest highlight for me. Never used to be a fan of mani-pedi but once i've tried it here i can't stop. My mum also declared that she loves it now! my cousin bought me a package as my present n i've used it up already. I signed for another ten sessions today, burnt a hole in my pocket :( But she gave me VIP price and made me swear not to tell anyone.. lol. it's reaaaally cheap! erm, at least compared to other shops la. it's still considered a monthly basis indulgence. must carefully utilise my ten sessions cos most likely i'll share them w my mum and as birthday presents to my girlfriends too so they won't be mine alone. bleh.

My good friend came to find me at the shop just now as she stays nearby. Had such a fun time chatting with her n my mum making girly talk. We booked another appt to come tog before the CNY! I've already kinda decided the colours i want for the next visit. Most prob light glitter pink for my fingers and opulence or glittery purple for the toes! The slots before CNY were very fully booked so our appt's quite a few days before cny :(

Really think that nail sessions make very good catch up sessions between girls n i really enjoy going there with my cousin or mummy or girl friends. Sometimes i chat w other customers too n they'll tell me about their husbands, work etc.

Anw i'm a happy camper tonight (partly cos it's lovely tuesday!) and even going to work tmr with a discussion with school leaders doesn't really put me off. will wait till tmr morning to drag my ass. goodnights world!

In mourning: my beloved park

Nowadays, i'm always pulled awake from my deep slumber on early weekend mornings, which are noise-filled with all the industrialization going on around my neighbourhood. First with the condo they've decided to build on a nice lush piece of green field two blocks from my house, and now with the revamping of Bishan park the govt announced a few months ago.

This morning, i was again woken up from loud noises.. the noises are right outside my window as the park is just below my house. I'd gotten rather used to such noises and didn't think much of it until I walked into the living room, and was greeted by the shock of my life.

The park as I've known it for 20 years, is literally gone overnight. The long line of tall, shady trees which I've known and loved my whole life is being chopped and killed at an alarming rate, and their carcasses now lay on the ground lifelessly as i type now:

I've always appreciated the beauty of these trees and over the years, i've watched them grow to become towering, strong trees which shelter my house and give it shade. They are at least 6 storeys high and look really mighty.

This photo illustrates how one side is completely dead now and the other side is how it used to be...:

And you won't believe this. As I was taking the photo, i heard a loud creaking sound and saw the next tree slowly, slowly tilting to the right and i stood there witnessing it fall from its grand height to the ground with a thundering crash within a few seconds. A man stood at the bottom of the tree, with a saw in his hand.

This photo is of the falling tree which just appeared in the previous photo, and is now a split second away from the ground when i managed to capture the photo just before it landed. My heart ached so much when i witnessed this that tears came to my eyes.

To the right.. already damage done. The bridge is my favourite bridge. How many evenings I've spent there throughout this whole life, standing on that bridge looking at the neighbourhood and admiring sunsets, thinking about stuff or cooling off from a run on my way home. The path i used to walk down from that bridge with my parents, to go through the park to have dinner at the porridge stall just across the park. I'd look up at the starry skies and loved the feeling of my parents' company when they're talking. For so many years i've been doing so since i was a little girl of 6.

I'm quite sure the bridge will be torn down and replaced with a new one. Even if it's not, i know the view and perspectives i get on that bridge would be different from then on.

To the left, relatively still untouched yet and is the park as i've known it (just ignore the industrialization taking place behind the park). But I'm very sure it would be gone too by the end of today or tomorrow. This canal used to be filled with sparkling clear water when i was young. There used to be big turtles swimming around the big square in the centre and they would come up to suntan! Super cute. But after the stream of water is polluted, there are no longer turtles and i think they've all died or something.

When i was looking out at this scene from the window, mummy was in the kitchen preparing lunch and telling me how sad she is. She says her heart really broke when she saw this and we complained about the govt initiative. Why must everything be industrialized, new, and commercialized? If i'm not wrong, they are gonna build some cafes and shops like right below my house. Why are we always making way for new buildings and structures so that there can be money-making opportunities? Does it mean that old places can't serve us well? I beg to differ because i feel that old places bring us a different realm of comfort and peace, and is a haven away from the industrial and globalized world we already live in and can see everywhere when we go out to work etc. We don't need to bring industrialization back to our neighbourhoods. No matter how much they try to convince us that the new park will look nicer, i won't be swayed.

All i want is for my park to remain how its like all these years. The very cosy and charming little park with old antique bridges, pebbled pavements and little brick shops. I even miss the old playground at the end of the park (the super old school type, with sand and cement, not the new generation type) where i used to play with my brother and cousin back in what must be 20 years ago. I miss the little red shop which rents out rollerblades and bikes and i used to go there w my family when i was a little girl, and after that w esther when i was in sec school to rent blades. i'm not sure whether this would be gone too.

Sigh. Really emo post for me. I don't think anyone would understand my feelings for this park unless they've lived here all their life too and looked at the park day and night from their home. As I'm typing this i can hear all the chopping going on and tractors moving around and i just heard another tree crash to the ground. Now i know the sound of trees dying and its imprinted in my mind forever. I hate it so much.

another addiction

While waiting for my face mask to dry, i shall do a short short post.

I've been crazy over this kate spade bag since Dec, but managed to restrain myself with whatever bit of rationality left inside me.

TADA!

Only managed to find ONE website selling it, and i think it should be gone by now :( I spent so many nights tormenting myself by looking at it on the website and bugging the owner to give me more discount, only to reluctantly force myself to give it a miss. ARGHHH

BUT it doesn't mean i can't continue to gush over it. In fact, perhaps ranting about it here could give me some sort of closure for this bag that's never gonna be mine. You know, like grieving.

Isn't it just lovely?? So classic looking, yet chic and striking with the white and black contrasting bow in front. Just the right size for going about ANYWHERE! Like sometimes when i go shopping and dun wanna carry a big bag, nor carry a small clutch, this is like just the right size. I can already imagine what i'd put inside - my wallet, handphone, small brolly, lip balm, keys, tissue, blusher. Just the essentials, nothing more, nothing less. I just love love love heart heart the cute bow so much!

I think I'm being carried away... can't believe i can blog such a long one on a bag. Sigh i must stop eyeing all the kate spades, they're making me super ravenous and hungry. Back to reality... ok i'm contented with just my lil henry.

but on a side note, if any of u happen (just happen!), to know or see this bag being sold anywhere, pls pls pls let me know!!! hee.

**edit**: it's still available on the website!!! at a sales price somemore, but only until 14 jan!! should i buy or should i not? have until 14 Jan to decide!

a new year ahead

it's been 5 days back at work and i've already made two presentations, both known at the last minute.

it's time to focus on work again and leave the holidays behind me. work's not taking a full swing yet.. kinda still in a holiday mood but i know it's gonna come soon, fast and furious. i'm just happy to revel in nie week for now.... it's like heaven for us compared to work in the office.

so it's 2010 now. was just telling mum that i couldn't believe how 20 years just flew past like this. i still vividly rem moving into this house when i was in primary 1, and that was 1991. i could rem myself then, feeling small and lost in school but happy to come home. then our conversation somehow veered to how life passes u so quickly, pple fall sick and pple die. mummy's scared of ageing.. and secretly inside, i feel scared for my parents and myself too.

anw, every year i'd kinda write down a few resolutions but in the end none seem to ever work out. i would try but guess it's not hard enough. but for the sake of kickstarting a new year ahead with things to look forward to and goals to set for myself, here's my new year resolutions:

1. like finally get my driving license

2. like finally get started on yoga classes

3. eat more veg

4. buy less clothes, shoes and bags (and everything else, damnit)

5. watch more dvds

6. hugely importantly, more work-life balance. which inevitably means taking a backseat at work and letting alot of things go, coming home early and spending more me-time. work just can't ever be finished. i used to strive alot and have really high expectations of myself, but over time i'm just killing myself. i need to learn how to delegate tasks, not take on everything, not be such a perfectionist in getting things done nicely, not to be too soft-hearted and take on everybody's requests. it also means saying NO firmly to things i dun wish to take on and being totally OK with myself not being able to handle certain things perfectly.

7. lastly, i hope to spend this year looking for more alternative career choices, broadening my perspectives, etc. many many factors have led me to this, sadly.

Number 5 is kinda weird, but i really love watching drama serials (all sorts -- hk, korean, english) but never had the time to do so over the past few years. recently i've just started again (watching on macbook is quite whoosh) so i'm hoping to keep up with this me-time over this year.

Resolutions have become resolutions simply for the reason that they were difficult to accomplish in the first place. hence, not alot of hopes in cracking those tough nuts there. but it's worth a try anyway.

hope this year would be a good year :)

Hanoi - a peek

I never knew that hanoi could offer scenic views. it was a trip which gave me much needed tranquil and serenity.

Day 2:

It was the most boring day of the trip. We visited temples and lakes and Ho Chi Minh's resting place. A pity we couldn't view his body in winter. Anw, here's the place he used to work and live in, which was rather nice and peaceful.

Day 3:

The night before, we moved into a hotel at Ha Long bay, 3 hours drive from hanoi. A quaint little town with small, narrow buildings.

The view of the bay from the hotel..

Mummy looking beautiful before we set off for Ha Long bay. This place is a must-go when u visit hanoi.

We set sail on a junk ship and cruised along the bay on a 5 hour trip. It's just awesome how vast and great nature can be. It felt like we were in the middle of nowhere. It was misty and cold, with boats few and far between. Very tranquil..

Loved how we could go on the deck and let the winds whip across our faces though it was freezing and i was so under-dressed for such weather. Five thin layers just wasn't enough.

There was lunch provided on board but before that, we dropped at a little fishing place in the middle of the waters. It's rather interesting, we could buy seafood from this place to add to our lunch by simply choosing what we want, pay up, and board the ship to continue our journey. The "cook" for our ship would cook the stuff we bought for our lunch.

Throughout my journey, i saw that it was very common for families and children to live on little boats and form their livelihood on the water. They would sell things on their boats to tourists by rowing close to their ships and showing them goods like fruits, drinks and biscuits. Some families even seem to have their boats as homes. It's kinda sad to see very very small children selling things in such cold winter. They have fruits and biscuits as toys and sing and jump around their boats to play.

We then came to this island (i think it's heaven's island) where we docked and climbed a cliff. It was said that the view from the top is spectacular.

This was halfway up the high cliff...

The climb was steep and high.... we needed frequent rests!

View from the top.... very breathtaking. The climb was totally worth it.

Day 4:

This day was spent at a lake which was really quiet and peaceful. I felt like i was right in the middle of a swordsman film.

At the bay where we boarded a small rowing boat. More like a sampan actually. Very quaint. It was a 2 hour journey to and fro. The boat was rowed by a middle-aged woman and her daughter. There was a neighbouring boat which was being rowed by a 70 year old woman!

Mummy and I took turns helping the woman's daughter row the boat as she was very tired. It was quite fun actually! But very tiring.

There's alot of cliffs around and we spotted little goats climbing around the cliffs and they mehhhed at us when we rowed past! Super cute.

Totally loved the villagy feel of this place. Definitely a must-come esp. with your lover. 2 persons to a boat. U'll totally feel like u're in your own world, with blue skies and birds chirping away.

Lastly, a few snap shots of the people of hanoi. People making a living and children.

A parting shot. The last evening of hanoi was spent on a rickshaw around old quarters, though we didn't get to alight and shop around. It was a harrowing one hour ride along the scariest roads in the world. I truly feared for my life but managed to sneak a few shots here and there. This seemingly calm road is misleading. Motorcycles were in fact millimetres from my rickshaw and I was awed by how they could never scratch us.