Xmas came and went

can't believe that my dec hols is coming to an end and it's back to work on tuesday. perhaps it's the fear of what's to come at work, perhaps it's the phobia of working till midnight, or the dread of unaccomplishable tasks, but this must be the one toughest going-back-to-work moment for me.

i'm thankful for the brief respite i had these two weeks. work was so hectic right before that it drained me and made me literally a dead fish. i was so grateful on that last friday of work although i still had to pull myself away from office (last to leave, no surprise) to force myself to go on leave. although i had the greatest fortune of being away from work over the last 2 weeks and being in the company of my loved ones and the comfort of home, i still am severely mentally drained and i believe no amount of rest could recuperate me fully. dreams fill my sleep every night, not sweet ones, but vivid, stressful ones. it's been awhile since i had a restful sleep whereby i wake up feeling fresh and recharged.

nevertheless, i tried, really tried, to empty my mind of work and fully immerse myself in resting.

christmas is over, and this year, the spirit of christmas is somehow lacking for me. perhaps it's the absence of writing xmas cards (only a few, here and there), of buying and giving presents (always the greatest joy), or perhaps it could be the absence of my favourite xmas foods, think turkey, puddings, chocolates. but i'm thankful i had the company of my loved ones which is what christmas is all about.

spent the last few days with my family and i hope i made my mum happy by staying by her side on both her birthday and the day after. all my life i could never feel good about going out w friends on xmas day cos it's my mum's bday. hence the entire xmas season is usually spent at home. and we ate so much. think everyone gained 2 pounds except for me. xmas day was dim sum lunch at our usual peach garden, complete with my much missed wasabi prawns and roasted duck. dinner was at another chinese restaurant. boxing day was spent at my cousin's, and she whipped up my fav baked cheese sliced potatoes, baked pork with thyme and rosemary, honey roasted chicken wings, fresh mushroom soup and we had my mummy's lychee martini bday cake. dinner was a seafood meal of salted crabs and lala (my fav)! gawd, the amount of food i had.

a few photos of my xmas with my family...

and mummy gave me a lovely xmas present!! a huge jewellery wooden box with 9 drawers!! finally, something big enough to store my accessories. i filled up every drawer immediately. no space left. haha. love the vintage look of the box. hope to bring this box with me through life!

What does it feel like to be, say, addicted to a deadly drug? Knowing that it's harmful for u in the long run, but yet, for the good feelings it gives you now, u succumb to temptation and live with the guilt and fear inside? You have enough sense to try kick it off a couple of times, but not enough determination to kick it off totally and thoroughly, and it keeps coming back. You know you have to rid yourself of the addiction one day, but yet the one day is never near enough. What can one do?

The feeling is helplessness. And i think, it applies to many of us in many situations, perhaps not to this great degree, but to an extent definitely. It applies to things, activities, or even people which/whom we know are no good for us in the long run. I think, letting go and moving on from a habit or from something which makes us feel good is never a human forte. Ironically, it's so behavioural science.

And i end off here. No energy to post hanoi pics but will try to do it soon. 2010 is coming!

Dec in Hanoi

my blogskin has been down for several weeks cos the author has not logged into her photobucket. for the past 2 hours i've been trying to download a new blogskin but failed miserably. i rem it being quite easy some years ago but now i can't seem to find the html codes. argh. so it's back to boring default skins for me. anyone who has a clue pls pls pls let me know.

i miss my old blogskin :(

just came back from a short trip at hanoi. if you think that vietnam's weather is just like singapore, u're not alone. but i'm so wrong! and painfully so.

turned out that it's winter over there and the temperature was around 12 - 15 degrees. even though i checked out the temperature before leaving, i still had the image of vietnam with tropical weather. i was ill-prepared in terms of clothes and had to pile on all the clothes i brought everyday. ended up wearing the same stuff each day cos that's all i had! my mum and i were wrapped in whatever shawls and cardigans and sweaters we brought along. bathing was a nightmare and a trembling-shivering affair. but i kinda miss the cool windy weather upon touching down yesterday. there's no sun and rain there, just peaceful, cloudy winds.

other than the weather, another noteworthy experience was the traffic. my gawd. it's worse than bangkok and china put together. honking was taking place every minute. there's no lanes or whatever to speak of, and cars, motorcycles, trucks, trishaws, bicycles and pedestrians can just travel along the same road. vehicles change lanes like nobody's business. my bus was travelling on the lane with oncoming traffic half the time and v often, there would be huge buses coming headway and my bus would just squeeze into another lane at the last second. i dunno how the pple there do it but i must say they have fantastic driving skills cos i didn't witness a single scratch or bump taking place. i thought i was going to die on the trishaw cos all the motorcycles were coming at me and honking from all sides but i was amazed they didn't even scratch any part of the trishaw.

visited a few scenic places and they were rather breathtaking. the pictures do no justice cos it's a totally different realm when u're physically there. the weather just makes everything so tranquil and serene. it feels like u're in another world except that when u're travelling with a tour group, u can't really filter out all the blabberings and noises from pple. and i tell u, singaporeans are disgustingly NOISY. argh. i went there to have peace but i ended up living with more noises. and having to witness how some singaporeans are simply a disgrace makes it a whole lot worse. the kiasu-ism, kiasi-ism, self-centredness and lack of common knowledge was a pain to witness. the utter low standards in our way of talk is really something the country as a whole needs to look into. enough said.

anw, i was looking forward to food and shopping but to my dismay, we were served terrible meals as part of the tour package and shopping was almost zilch to speak of. given a chance, i would love to walk the streets, have their local delicacies, go into a local cafe to try their famed coffee and french loafs. have more photography of local and street life. shopping was supposed to be at old quarters on the last night but sadly, a couple of anti-shopping males and sleep starved aunties strongly opposed and it was cancelled. it really angered some of us cos it's part of the itinerary and u're not supposed to cancel any part of the prog. argh. anyways. total shopping time = 1 hr in an art/handicraft market. -_-

hanoi's definitely a place worth exploring and i would love to visit again in future. free and easy this time, please. i had never enjoyed going on package. i now know where are the good places to go for sightseeing and i would love to stay in the hotel overlooking west lake again. more street life this time.

pics up next time! need to upload the pictures if my brother ever wanna find the camera cable for me.