an emo day in unison with the rainy dull weather.

ever so often, when u just feel like you're most blissful and happy, that u're willing to give everything, u get thrown off and reality crashes down on you. just what makes you think you've everything and you're good?

have i only been happy this while, just because i make myself bear with everything and anything and just try to be understanding about everything that comes at me?

maybe i'm still just not contented with what i have afterall :(

why should promises be kept? once in a blue moon i meet a 10, 11 yr old who can give me the perfect score answer. if kids can have such profound understanding of human relationships, why can't adults? is it because kids live in a very simple and innocent world, and such a concept is actually very simple but has been made complicated by adults?

today is just such an emo day. it's not a bad day or unlucky day. i mean, traffic jams, late lunches, missed buses, slow computers, drenched shoes, late office evenings, they happen ever so often but life goes on. i'm thankful nothing majorly bad happened.

just now my iphone screwed up for half an hr too and gave me a small panic attack, but even that wasn't so bad cos it recovered. i'm also having a bad throbbing wisdom toothache which is killing me softly. but this won't be so bad too cos i'm planning to see a dentist to get it plucked out (which is scary for me) maybe next week, and i know the pain will stop.

but the pain in my heart, the feeling of not knowing what, not knowing how, and not knowing what may come, is the one that sucks my life out.

Updates!

it's been lightyears since i last blogged! can't rem the last time...

it must be before all my short trips, before my string of illnesses and falling sick crap....

updates: i've been to malacca and back, and been to krabi and back!!

malacca was really really quaint... love the shophouses, street food, peranakan restaurants and antique houses!

but that was where i fell sick, unfortunately. i think the 35 degree sun melted me in the heat.. and i caught a fever and cold the second day there. thank god kai drove and we could sit in comfort in the car.. can't imagine getting up and down a coach! it's a first trip with him tog and my family =)

i was sick sick sick for 5 days in a row! was on 4-day MC once i was back from the trip. High fever and terrible terrible cough which didn't subside... and until now i'm still having the cough! my cough has actually persisted since June... and my 2 doctors suspected TB! wrote me a referral letter to get a chest x-ray done, which i haven't gone yet.

I've so much phlegm in my system now that i think they have all coagulated and formed a huge colony and stuck itself to my bronchus (how to spell?!) and lungs, i haven't been able to spit anything out, but i can feel it there all the time like a lump. my throat will suddenly go into spasms of itchiness and i'll cough like NON-STOP and can't stop the itch. causes me much embarrassment when i'm in the company of pple, or worse still in meetings. i dunno what's wrong but i hate it!

lucky i was feeling better in krabi or i'll be sick for the second time there again. still had the cough but was already thankful for no fever. as usual we loved the food, especially cheap local eats! and our lovely scooter which brought us out so conveniently. not to mention our beloved all time fav resort and pool access room! the 4 days was really pure getaway escapade to relax and nuaaa.

going to take cruise with mummy this fri.. will stopover at redang for snorkelling and some beach! looking forward to some time alone on the ship... reading books on the balcony overlooking the ocean, going for jacuzzi or a swim, even exercising in the gym, etc etc.

may be planning another trip to malacca with my colleagues again

life's good =)