My last post

After lots of deliberation, I've decided to stop blogging on this space.

It's sad to leave, really, after 4 years' worth of memories and stories. It has gone through with me through ups and downs, allowing me to rant as I wish, and served me well when I needed a listening ear the most.

The choice to abandon it came up because of personal reasons.. Let's just say that a very insecure and over-cautious (yet intuitive) me has this need to assure myself that my deepest and innermost thoughts and feelings are not revealed to someone who is not welcome to them. I'm not referring to any of my friends whom I had willingly shared my blog with or even to any of you readers-strangers out there who had so well-meaningly read and encouraged me along the way. I really appreciate all of that!

I know that some of you have blogs of your own and may want to share them with me, and some of you may even have words for me still... You can feel free to reach me personally at my email, bluebliss@hotmail.com, as long as you're a sincere reader.

Farewell, to my beloved blog, and so long =)

It's great to have a few days off work and spend time with the family. Non-stop feasting and sleeping... really needed the rest.

Yesterday, Ethan came over and he was in a good mood. Waved to me and just before he left, he came into my bedroom and jumped onto my bed... snuggled there for awhile and i went to sit with him on my bed. Then, the most wonderful thing happened. He gave me a big, long hug and pulled me down to lie with him for awhile. He was smiling from ear to ear. It was like a miracle to me =)

Today I went over to his place. We could hear his screams on the third floor, and went up to see what's going on. Apparently, he was having tummy ache, and was rolling around, kicking and crying in agony, hitting and biting himself, and not only that, he kept trying to pinch us, grab us and kick us. He bit my cousin's toe until it bled. It was so heartpain seeing him in this agony. 2 - 3 adults had to grab hold of his limbs to stop him from hurting himself and others. Sometimes, I think I would never have the courage to pull through having a kid with ASD. I know he would never have what other children would have for a childhood. But I wish for him happiness, pure innocent joy.

A beautiful quote I came across...

"When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you, but because, in that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for."

And I know, I'm afraid of tossing that coin. Because I don't wish to find out what I'm hoping for deep inside.

My first escargot experience.. Never too late to try new things, food especially. I learnt to eat abalone only when I was 20. And became so in love with it. Also recently tried foie gras by a very friendly old french chef. I think I'd love it if given a bit more time!

New year spells abalone! Lots and lots of it, but never enough. Only the good ones are worth eating. I like them plain, sliced just of the right thickness, straight outta the can!

Went to Macau and back. Very nice CNY lighting and ambience =) I miss travelling...

Me and Jiaying on the swing at Ethan's house today... Some happy sisterly times. I have soooo few cousins who are girls or near my age.. there's like 20 boys and 5 girls. thus CNYs are rather boring affairs for me at relatives' places. I'm like the 4th youngest on my mum's side, and Jiaying is the youngest. The other 20 cousins are all older than me and 90% married. I'm the only one of my age whenever we go visiting.. When I was young I was pampered and spoilt by them cos i was the youngest for a longgg time, but no one bothers about me now. They only ask me when they can stop giving me ang baos?

I wore a cheongsum top which I got rather last minute but happy that it arrived before CNY. Hate my hidden eyelids which folds under and the double lids are only visible when I look down. It's a nightmare putting eyeliner. I've invested sooo much $$ on good eyeliners but nothing, absolutely nothing works on me. ARGH!

I've made a decision... a decision I'm not happy with but I know is the only right way to go and would make me happier in the long run. I finally know why decisions are so tough. They are tough because you can only choose one path. You choose it and you live with it, regret it whatever, but you walk it through. There's no option of trying out two paths at the same time and choosing the better one, there's no turning back time and choosing the other path halfway through, there's no way of knowing how it will turn out should you choose the other path. You can only make the best out of the road you take and hope it turns out fine =)